PART 1 of 3: HOW TO BE MODEST.

You don't have to be overly shy, quiet, or saintly to be modest. You simply have to avoid showing off and know how to make other people feel good about who they are. And along with being modest, you'll be pegged as a good listener and down-to-earth to boot!

Avoiding Showing Off
Don't brag about your accomplishments to everyone.The first rule to being modest is to avoid bragging -- even if you've done something great. Maybe you got a new promotion, or maybe you just closed on an amazing new house. These are all great things and you should be proud of what you've done, but being modest is all about not showing off. You can share your successes if they come up, but don't rub them in anyone's face.

• If someone mentions your new neighborhood, you can say, "I'm actually moving there next month." You don't have to say, "I just closed on an amazing new ten bedroom house with a sauna and a wine cellar."
•  Be proud of what you did and don't be embarrassed to talk about it if it comes up. But don't say, "I beat almost everyone in my age group" or "It was so easy that I took a lap around Central Park after I crossed the finish line."

Share your achievements only with the people who really care. You don't have to keep your successes completely to yourself to be modest. You just have to pick and choose who would really care about what you have to say, who really supports you, and who is really close to you and rooting for you to succeed. Maybe it's only your spouse, your mother, your best friend, or your small circle of friends. That's fine. It's better to tell one person who really cares than to brag to ten people who couldn't care less.

• If you got a new promotion, don't brag to your other co-workers or you'll look like a jerk. But tell your spouse and family -- they'll be proud of you.
• If you closed on a house, celebrate with your family and the close friends who will be hanging out there.

Avoid talking about how much money you have. Talking about how rich you are, how much money you have, how much money you will have, how big of a raise you've got, or just anything that has to do with your general wealth is not modest. Talking about how much money you have makes you look self-obsessed and just plain annoys other people. You may be proud of the money you've earned, if you've earned it, and you can share your wealth with your family or anyone you support, but that does not mean perfect strangers will be happy to hear about your fat wallet.


Don't discuss your ten most amazing qualities. If you want to be modest, then don't mention how beautiful, awesome, smart, clever, outgoing, or whatever it is you are unless you want to be seriously annoying. Saying things like, "I know I'm a good looking guy is just flat-out annoying, even if you really think these things are true.

• If you have great qualities, then other people will notice them and will point out how amazing

Don't put yourself down too much, either. This may be confusing. First you're told not to build yourself up, but then you're told not to put yourself down? What gives? While you should avoid bragging about how amazing you are, if you put yourself down too much, then people will think you're putting on an act just so someone will stop and tell you how great you are.

• If you say, "I'm the dumbest person in this class. I'll never get anything right," then people may think you just want to be told that you're one of the smartest.
• If you say, "I'm really terrible at..." people may think that you're purposefully saying that because you want to hear the opposite. This only works for things that you're pretty sure you're good at, of course.you are.

Practice humility. Being humble is a part of being modest. To be humble, you have to accept your limitations and know that there is a beautiful, infinite, complicated world out there and that you are not its master. Be in awe of nature, your surroundings, your mentors, and the world at large and see that you really aren't the best, brightest, hottest person who ever walked on the Earth.

• Volunteer. This will make you appreciate how much you have to be thankful for.
• Acknowledge your faults. Truly humble people know that they aren't perfect.
• Admit that you're not the best at everything. You may think you are...but you're wrong.

Don't share too much about your amazing relationship. Sure, you're on cloud nine with your new love affair, but does that mean that Lula, your sixty-year-old coworker who is going through a painful divorce, has to hear all about it? Keep the most special parts of your love to yourself instead of posting a million pictures of you making out with your special someone on Facebook, showing off the new necklace he gave you, or just talking about how you are sooooooooo in love.

Unfortunately, many people out there are in unhappy relationships or are unhappy being single. There's no need to rub your happiness in their faces. In fact, that cheapens it.